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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Elle Alexandra?
“What the world needs now is more redheads, sweet redheads. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is more redheads, sweet redheads. No not just for some but for...
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Bianca Mihoc Poses Nude & Raises Everyone’s Quality Of Life
I had a whole intro planned for this post, but then I forgot it. Every. Single. Word. Gone. I hate it when that happens. There I was doing the dishes and I thought of something brilliant I wanted to...
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Last Week On Insta: Kendra Sunderland, Lana Rhoades, & +++
I need a new Stoya in my life. Original Stoya is still alive and well, but her output, whether it be porn or writing, has drastically reduced in the last year or so. Even her tweets and Insta posts...
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Pxie Revolutionizes The Hair Brush In “Spank” By Higinio Domingo
Long dark hair, striking eyebrows, piercing eyes, fair skin, pouty red lips… I mean this is my high school fantasy girl come to life, I tell ya. And with a spanking fetish to boot. I’m pretty much in...
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Last Week On Insta: Kira Noir, Taylor Hill, & More +++
I’m having one of those days where work is making me super horny. Imagine trying to get things done when all you want to do is rub one out? It’s not very productive. I should just give up or turn my...
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Sydney Graham Has Gorgeous Pierced Nipples For Humanity
Credit card companies are insane. For a really long time I couldn’t get credit, because I fucked up back when I was in uni and I almost had to declare bankruptcy to get out of the mess I had created...
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Hump Day, GIF Day: Angela White Gets You Through The Week
One of my buds brought Angela White to my attention, because she’s a dead ringer for his wife. I bring this up, because there’s nothing I like better than getting off to pornstars who look like the...
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Last Week On Insta: Melissa Lori, Honey Gold, & More +++
Can I go to bed already? I’M SO TIRED, PEEPZ. Come save me! I would love to go take a nap right now, but I can’t because someone has to take care of all your degenerate needs. I can’t even. Even. I...
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Mia Malkova Is A Gift From God For Penthouse Magazine
I really hate it when people say they prefer chicks who don’t wear makeup, because there’s nothing wrong with makeup and most people don’t have a clue what they’re talking about when they say that....
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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: K.C. & Kris (1992)
Usually, I’m all for that kitsch life and things from the ’90s, but this photoshoot has got to be worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s so bad I don’t even know where to start. Let’s just take a look at...
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Ella Weisskamp By Aris Jerome Is A Hazy Blur Of Sexy Colors
Buying stuff is hard. I’ve wasted so many hours in the last few months researching cameras online. There’s just too much information and too much choice. I just want to take nice pictures damn it,...
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Last Week On Insta: Honey Gold, Melissa Lori, & More +++
Ah yes, Instagram. That place I go to at night before going to bed. Scroll, scroll, scroll, hot, hot, hot. It’s a good place to get inspired. You wouldn’t believe how many screenshots I take. I’m...
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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Wendy & Janet (1986)
I won’t tell you how old I am, because some of you degenerates probably get off thinking I’m a 19 year-old coed or some bullshit like that. Suffice it to say that I’m in that sweet spot age wise where...
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Alexandra Daddario Is Clearly An Olympian Goddess!
I’m still a little weirded out by the fact that the first time I saw Alexandra Daddario she was playing the daughter of Olympian God Athena in Percy Jackson and the Something or Other. That was a kids...
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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Alina Puscau (2009)
Jesus God, when I first saw this photoshoot I was looking at thumbnails, so I actually thought there were two women in the pictures, you know, instead of one woman and a mannequin. I was going to...
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Last Week On Insta: Shannon Lee Heberlein, Ashley Graham & +++
One of my friends announced that she wants to get a boob job, which got us talking about plastic surgery. She mentioned that her boyfriend brought up the topic of butt implants as if this was...
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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Sabrina (1986)
Do you know what I hate about summer? The birds start chirping at three in the morning some days. I swear, there you are trying to get some quality alone time in the middle of the night and the damn...
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Last Week On Insta: Dita Von Teese, Anastasia Kvitko & +++
Yesterday I was moving some furniture and I was taking a break. Unfortunately I decided to take said break upon a couch that was sort of half on the back of a trailer. Obviously the thing tipped over...
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Elsa Hosk Is A Blonde Mermaid In Training For Madame Figaro
I bought a nightgown (and when I say nightgown I mean oversized black jersey shirt) the other day that says “MERMAID” in big, bold red font, but, wait for it, underneath that it says “off duty,”...
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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Yianna Poliakou (2004)
Wow Yianna Poliakou is so damn pretty. She looks a little bit like Jennifer Lawrence. Just a little bit… around the eyes I think. I also get Claudia Schiffer vibes, but that might just be because of...
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