I bought a nightgown (and when I say nightgown I mean oversized black jersey shirt) the other day that says “MERMAID” in big, bold red font, but, wait for it, underneath that it says “off duty,” because you see, I have legs and I don’t look like Elsa Hosk.
Elsa Hosk has legs, but clearly she made a deal with a sea witch that looks a lot like an octopus.
Speaking of sea witches who look like octopuses (octopi?), I was thinking the other day that all the Disney villains have impeccable style. Maleficent. Fierce. Cruella De Vil. Sharp. Ursula. On Fleek. Jafar. Basically a pimp.
What does this have to do with Elsa Hosk and this photoshoot she did for Madame Figaro? Absolutely fucking nothing, it was just a passing thought. I’m allowed to have those, okay!
Swinging back to the topic of Elsa Hosk, I really wish she would stop holding her boobs with her hands in this photoshoot. We’ve seen her tits so many times in the past I don’t see the point. All that boob holding is just ruining perfectly good shots.
In my fantasies, Elsa dyes her hair a deep strawberry blonde and she stars in a porny adaptation of The Little Mermaid. If I ever become a trillionaire, I’m making this happen.
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Via drunkenstepfather.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd